Barstool Banter

So, Trubisky and Watson were in the same draft? You don’t say!?

So Jalen Hurts of Alabama and Oklahoma fame started one game last week, and already Twitter has worked itself up into a tizzy about redoing the entire 2020 draft because the Bears missed out on an alleged franchise QB. Can we just collectively stop this absurd attempted “analysis”? It’s been one game. One. Game. Frankly, since we got to watch Hurts collectively for what seemed like a whole decade, he had enough on college tape to say that he is pretty limited as a passer, might end up being a better Mitch Trubisky. But, lo and behold, Twitter nation needs their results and they need them NOW! You all sound like this goddamn Commercial…..

This is literally every person on Twitter jumping to conclusions expecting something to happen immediately!

Ya can’t microwave development.

So one guy who played in absurdly high level games for two straight seasons and slayed what was basically a low grade NFL defense… picked in front of a guy who couldn’t beat out a CFL quarterback…..hindsight is 20/20….right?…..

They always say you have to give a draft class three whole years. Their could be coaching changes, players need to develop, and NO ONE is a finished product, (but apparently Jalen Hurts is?!) Especially for a highly drafted player, their TEAM needs to get better, too. Also, if they are arriving on a poor team, there is either a bad front office that would hinder acquiring good players or possibly bad coaches still present, (think: John Fox and Dowell Loggains in 2017) or hopefully new coaches putting something better in…..Regardless, especially when it comes to development…..Can ya give it a second!?

We have seen from Mitch what we need to see. 2020 has brought some nice tweaks, and I’d like to see the rest of the year as Lazor can build in some constraint plays, since the O line get a little better with my awesome Notre Dame free agent linemen! Yeet! People still waiting for him to do his thing because he had one year of college I do get that, but we’re in year 4 now. I mean hell, pretend he had two years in college, and this is only year 3, because his rookie was pretty limited, then in this “magical year 3” he’s still 46 starts in. what are we waiting to see?! Yes Nagy’s West Coast bastard offense is too complicated, I get that. He’s a great dude and works his ass off to be leader, but he has an incredibly slow processor. You can only do so much. Sadly, you can stick me in a room 8 hours a day for a year, and I would still struggle with physics, or any thing with spatial reasoning. My brain just doesn’t work that way.

Ryan Pace is apparently not a fan of downfield accuracy. But, Mitch drove a Toyota Camry in college, so there’s that. (Also, if you say Mitch can make half of these throws, then Mitch has nudes of you for blackmail.)

Oh. By the way. I cut up, what was already a cut up…of Watson highlights. Since I’m almost 40, and can’t work technology “very well”, I played my favorite 20 year old Juvenile song in the background…..Please enjoy this rudimentary film. Thank You.

Mahomes, the perfect spot. Watson….actually, yes.

We all know Mahomes is the King, and even I am surprised how well he has absorbed Reid’s offense. Reid installs new shit constantly. Mahomes is decisive, and not easily fooled, even for only playing in his third year. We know the arm cannon is like the bad guy from Blank Panther, but between his arm, his brain, Reid’s coaching and plays, and having Kelce and Hill to throw to, he’s in his own world for the next decade. Which leaves us with Watson. The college hero, the high 4 star recruit, the dude that took Clemson from top 10-15 to their own stratosphere. The thorn in Alabama’s side. He too, got to ride the wave of a creative offense in his first few years designed partially around some of his lower tier Clemson plays as he got acclimated to the league.

Some common Clemson-ish type concepts the Texans use

If the Rams are wearing Navy uniforms, it’s because this works for now. The Chiefs are in man, and will follow the jet motion. Most teams now like to send the TE to seal off the opposite D end on the line. It’s a thing.

Sorry, I couldn’t make this “slow motion for ya!” It’s the play above after snap. But even in fast motion, I’m sure “You’ll like it like that!”

Hey look! Every Rams and 49ers play!

After doing that same concept about three times, teams like to leak out their TE to the flat. The 49ers do this with the George Kittle guy….a lot.
Here is Watson doing professional things…like looking off a safety

Wait, so O’Brien got fired, and they are really efficient now?!

Things were all gravy until about last year, when their O line went to hell, and the league as of maybe last year started figuring out what Watson can do. The Texans then revamped their O line, wasted all their draft capital, and for some reason (mostly financial allegedly and or Hopkins didn’t “fit the culture”), Hopkins was sent off to AZ for the now injured David Johnson. Ole Billy B. was sent packing, and now in the past 6-8 games, the Texans offense has shot up the charts.

I could not find exact stats from the past month because I am not a stats researching paralegal (I know they’re out there!) on this…..but Watson IS currently 2nd in passing yards and top ten in touchdowns. One can only assume, he has been scalding hot to be climbing the stats ladder after the awful O Brien led start to the year. (or maybe it’s bad defenses and garbage time passing. Who knows! Framing stats for your subjectivity is fun, right!?

The following was NOT made by me! Like Dane Cook and Carlos Mencia, I “borrowed” it

Look up this fellow on the YouTube ….it’s called “Texans Thoughts”. He breaks down every game using shading for coverages and route lines for receivers that in my opinion, is easy to understand if you know basic coverages, route concepts etc.